Ever lose something? Keys? Money? Some material object of sentimental value? Clothes?
A few short years ago, there was a defining moment in my life that changed me in many ways. I put up walls around myself. Not to keep people out. But to see who cared enough to break them down. The walls are still there, though the ones who cared enough are well inside. Safe.
I never thought I would lose a friend again. Someone who understands your past and has been there with you. Felt the pain. Felt the hurt. Shed the tears and cried the “why.” Stood with you when you didn’t know they were even there. Someone who believes in where you can go and what you can do. Someone who’s seen how much you have to give. Someone who feels joy in seeing you happy and in love. Your future. Someone who accepts you just the way you are. Faults and all.
I miss my friend. We didn’t talk much but there was always that “Good morning Sunshine” or the “Wassup Buttercup” or the “Good morning cupcake” e-mail. I miss the “SSDD” or the “DDSS” replies. I miss the “dumbass” dismissals. I miss the occasional lunch and the rare hanging out drinking sessions.
My walls are still up. The ones who cared enough to break them down are still inside. Safe.
I hope I haven’t lost a friend forever.
The Wire Head